her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
