Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
