I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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