Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
