Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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