i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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