hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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