Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
