Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
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