I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
