planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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