Im at strip club and am horny
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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