I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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