i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
