BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
