Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
