this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
