I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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