He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
