The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
