after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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