he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
