Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
