You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
