so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
