The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
