my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Your cock deserves a montage
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
