what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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