I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
