Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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