I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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