But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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