its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
