I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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