If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
