She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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