I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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