some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Say something about gay babies.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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