I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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