If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
