What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
