Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
