last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The power of my boobs compel you
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
