put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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