then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
