I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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