piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
