I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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