last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
