I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I had to cum in my sink.
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