Kiss
Puke
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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